I LOVE BEING A WIFE. There is just something about it. I feel proud, accomplished and really damn mature. Of course, nothing has really changed since our wedding, except my last name, but I still fucking love it. Being a wife is a job I take very seriously and aside from being a Mum it is the most important title I have ever had been entrusted with. I carry my new last name around like a badge of honor and I wear my rings with immense pride. Some days I even walk around like I am totally invincible, like somehow just because I am married I am some kind of super hero, like this:
I blame this new-found superwoman complex vaguely on the fact that my husband goes by the name of SupaMaoriFulla. This is him:
I digress… They say that planning your wedding is the most stressful time of your life and that your wedding day is the best day of your life. From experience, I found neither of these to be true. I found planning my wedding to be thoroughly enjoyable. It definitely was not without its dramas or hiccups but it was still a wonderful journey. This could be that as well as a super hero my husband is an event manager, this was definitely helpful, but I think it mostly came down to the fact that we tried to enjoy the process and not pin everything on this one day. It was, after all, One. Single. Day. in the rest of our lives together.
We (I, but their ain’t no I in team) had to be reminded of this a few times throughout the process but we never really took our eye of the prize….
* (My eyeliner was on point that day, clearly)
Our wedding day was amazing, however I really struggle to refer to it as “the best day of my life”. Sounds pretty bad, I know, but I refuse to let ONE day be the pinnacle of my life and of our relationship. I don’t want one day to define and hold an expectation that the rest of my life will never live up to. If I never get married again does that mean I will never have another “best day of my life”? I hope not, that would be a travesty.
Another reason that I am not a fan of referring to my wedding day as the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE is that I feel it takes away from all the other phenomenal days I have had to date and that it might also belittle any future experiences.
Leading up to my wedding I had a few people tell me about their post wedding blues so I was fully prepared for a bit of sadness when our day was all over. The first week home was so awesome and quite surreal so I figured that perhaps it would come when everyone stopped asking about the wedding. However, I am now 2 months post wedding, our wedding is ancient news and I have still never been happier. I have never felt so content. It feels different, more real. A new beginning of sorts… I don’t feel in the least bit sad or disappointed that it is over. All I have felt since the day of our wedding is complete fulfillment… which leaves me to wonder why other people feel a huge sense of despondency and loss when their day is done and dusted?
I could speculate but this would begin to get very ranty. Personally I love a good rant, but most people do not appreciate and I tend to come across quite irritating. Nevertheless, I do wonder if it is because they had the wrong intentions leading into the wedding to begin with. Maybe the reality of actually being tied to another human being forever kinda sucks for them. Whatever it is, I am glad that I am not in that category. Being married RULES, seriously – I highly recommend it.
I understand that I am in the early days and probably sound loved up and delusional but I am no moron. I am under no illusion that my marriage will be a bit shit at times and it will take hard work. I am pretty sure some days I will question why I got married but that is par for the course, this is what I signed up for. The good and the bad, the shit and the awesome. In sickness and in health… ’til death do we part.
My advice: enjoy it. Enjoy EVERYTHING, enjoy the journey but remember the destination. Do not rush through the process thinking you will just enjoy all of your hard work ON your wedding day, it goes so bloody fast that you will not. Do not think your wedding day will define your entire life to date – it will not. And, remember that when everyone leaves and the fun is all gone and your days are no longer consumed with cakes, dresses and bow tie choices you HAVE to be happy it is all over. You have to want to be stuck with the person who was waiting at the end of that aisle. This is for life. Not just one day.